Quacks

…he, I say, who takes this Method at this Time, is little wiser than one who claps the Muzzle of the Pistol into the Patient's Fundament and lets fly, in Hopes to clear the Way of all Obstructions: Pardon the Comparison, but I can assure you, the one is near as likely as the other, to destroy the Diseased and the Disease together.
— A London Physician, The Modern Quacks Detected in Three Parts, 1752, 41.

The recipe is sent for and received. Inasmuch as several of the ingredients mentioned cannot be had of the druggists, the advertiser is again written to by the real or imagined sufferer, and the result of the correspondence is that the 'doctor' receives from one to two dollars or more for a parcel of compost, which any druggist can put up for a shilling.
— Scientific American Volume 8 (n.s.), Issue: 9, Feb 28, 1863, 135.

Dr Sheldon's Magnetic Liniment. Will relieve at once Rheumatism. Lumbago. Lame Back. Cuts. Bruises or Burns, and continued applications will effect a cure in a remarkably short; time. Price 1/6 and 3/. Obtainable everywhere.
— Cairns Post, Friday 14 April 1911, 6.

The majority of his patients had reached the age of 50 years, and found that their strength was unequal to their tasks. Dr. Benjamin said that he claimed no sensational success. In many cases a month's treatment was required before a quickening of the stream of life took place. He denied that beauty returned. Only the physical and the nervous systems were quickened.
— The Daily News (Perth), Monday 17 March 1924, 5.

The electrical current is thus carried over the latter, its force being regulated according to the patient's strength. To ascertain whether sufficient electricity has been administered, the patient exposes the burn for an instant to the air; and if he does not feel the inflammation any more, the operation may he suspended; in the contrary case it must be resumed until that effect is produced.
— The Courier (Brisbane), Thursday 10 December 1863.

Large magnetic medical instruments (not requiring acid) for the treatment by faradisation of paralysis, sciatica, neuralgia &c.
Galvanic medical machines, with full set of apparatus, £5; smaller batteries, 25s and 60s.
Pulvermacher's galvanic bands.
Galvanic Batteries, 1 to 50 cells, for experiments, covered wire, binding screws, platinum foil, carbon points, &c. Globe for the electric light, and air-pump.
— The Sydney Morning Herald, Tuesday 3 May 1864, 3.

MASSAGE and ELECTRICITY. Galvanism, Faradisation, Electric Bathing, Massage, Face Massage, Manicuring. Mr ALECK PETERS begs to notify that he has REMOVED to "Novocastria," Brisbane-street (next to Jewish Synagogue), and is now prepared to accommodate Patients at the above address. Mr Peters's method will cure when ordinary medical treatment has failed. Electric installations fitted at Patients' own homes, and private instruction given in Massage and Electricity. Consultations free from 12 to 2, and 6 to 8 o'clock.
— The West Australian (Perth), Saturday 3 November 1900, 7.

H. E. Kugelmann's ELECTRIC ESSENCE — an external remedy for all pains or aches. Nothing like this has ever been known, and nothing else will ever equal it. If you have a rheumatism or gouty pain that you do not care about obtain a bottle of this Electric Essence and it will make you happy. Use it for sprained backs, knee joints, all swellings, dropsy, back ache, sciatica, neuralgia, weak spines, lumbago, contractions, lameness, cramps, quinsy, mumps, diphtheria, croup, and for all pains and aches. Never be without it for all bites of insects or stings and for burns, cuts, and scalds. Price, 3s 6d. and 7s.
— Border Watch (Mount Gambier, SA), Saturday 25 April 1891, 1.

It [the electropoise] consists of a small cylinder called a polarizer, which is used in connection with the patient's body by means of a common electric cord. This polarizer causes oxygen from the atmosphere to be absorbed by the entire surface of the body with great rapidity, the strength of the absorption being regulated according to the ability of the patient to receive.
— George M. Sternberg, 'Science and Pseudo-Science in Medicine, Science, N.S. V (110), 199-206, 5 February, 1897. Paper Read before the Anthropological Society of Washington, December 15, 1896

But when I tried all these things, I found them to be false: for not onely breathing and belching upon the Loadstone after eating of Garlick, did not stop its vertues: but when it was all anoynted over with the juice of the Garlick, it did perform its office as well as if it had never been touched with it.
— William Gilbert, De Magnete, 1600.

The effect, said the doctor, is to elevate the ribs and enlarge the chest, expanding the lungs. He had used it over 35 years to treat consumption and lung haemorrhage, but also recommended it as a preventative.
— Scientific American, 23 July, 1859, 53.

… we have no like publication in America. It must cost really very little to print it, and the expense of compilation can not be great. It is not a little remarkable that Americans generally should so long be content with dependence upon patent medicine almanacs for this class of information.
— News item, Science, 11 June 1881, 269.

This is a most serious conclusion, and renders it imperative that the HEADS OF FAMILIES, no matter in what position in life they are placed, should see that they and their families and dependants take every precaution to purify themselves (i.e., their Blood), and by so doing render abortive the Bite of FLEA or any OTHER PEST that may act as a means of conveyance. It is admitted that our Sewerage Connection within the city radius is not what it should be, and that RATS, by its defects, may enter the best protected: household, carrying death with them.

This INTENSIFIES the DANGER of Contagion and renders it the more imperative that all precautions should be taken, or the dread cry at night in our fair city may be heard of BRING OUT YOUR DEAD, WEBBER'S VITADATIO, THE ONLY TASMANIAN HERBAL BLOOD REMEDY, IS A SURE ANTIDOTE. and will Purify your Blood and Cleanse your System of all Impurities. This is NO EXAGGERATED STATEMENT, as any person can be convinced of who will call at the HEAD VITADATIO INSTITUTE for N.S.W., 184 PITT-STREET, SYDNEY, and read for themselves the Testimonials almost daily received from Patients Cured of Diseases arising from Blood Impurities.
— Australian Town and Country Journal, Saturday 10 March 1900, 7.

Don't be prejudiced against Clements Tonic because it is a patent medicine, or because some unscrupulous chemists and doctors deprecate it. They only speak against it because it pays them better to mix some of their own concoctions; and in this case you have to take your chance of getting what may suit your case, for it all depends whether they may have the required drug in stock at the time. Now, this is not the case with Clements Tonic, for every article required in the manufacture of this remedy is specially imported, and used for no other purpose; consequently it is reliable and genuine. Clements Tonic does not claim to cure everything; but in many special forms of disease it has been proved to possess wonderful curative properties.
— Euroa Advertiser (Vic.), Friday 5 June 1891, 6.

No medicines, or kind of treatment, doing me any good, I finally concluded to see what virtue there might be in Mother Seigel's Syrup. I had heard of it before, but never used it — possibly on account of the unreasonable prejudice so widely felt against advertised medicines. However, about four years ago my attention was strongly called to it by an acquaintance, and I tried it, yet not with any lively hope of its helping me. Nevertheless, I found it extremely beneficial. It did what no other remedy had done or even begun to do; it set me right.
— Australian Town and Country Journal, Saturday 9 March 1901, 14.

TO THE DEAF. The description of a simple remedy, by which a person has just been completely cured of deafness and noises in the head of FORTY YEAR'S STANDING, can be had free of charge on application verbally or by letter to NICHOLSON, 175 WILLIAM STREET, MELBOURNE.
— The Colac Herald (Vic.), Friday 31 January 1890, 3.

Regarding patent medicines, the Berlin police have resorted to very simple means to protect the public; viz., by the absolute interdiction of patent-medicine advertisements in newspapers and other public prints. It will be seen by the foregoing that citizens of Berlin are not permitted to care for themselves, as is the hazardous privilege of Americans, but the government assumes the responsibility of all hygienic and sanitary precautions.
— Science, 9 August 1889, 95.

Labourer Sent to Gaol for Fraud MELBOURNE, Friday. Extraordinary allegations concerning the sale of patent medicine were made in a case at Geelong to-day, in which Thomas Augustine Grady, labourer, of Clifton Hill, was sentenced to 12 months' imprisonment on five charges of having made false representations. Evidence was given that Grady, representing himself as a manufacturing chemist, sold worthless preparations to several Geelong hairdressers. In one case it was alleged he sold a mixture of 90 per cent glycerine and 10 per cent water at £1 an ounce, as a cure for rheumatoid arthritis, and a hair tonic and colour reviver.
— The Courier-Mail, Saturday 22 June 1935, 13.

REMARKABLE NEW GLAND TONIC Producing Surprising Results German Scientist gives men and women a wonderful treatment for Nerve and Brain Fag, Loss of Energy and Vitality and Premature Old Age. Actually produced in Germany, now offered for the first time in Australia. 10 DAYS' TRIAL OFFERED OUR READERS This great new discovery made possible by the scientific research and experiments of scientists like Professor Brown-Sequard of Paris, and Dr. Steinach of Vienna, with glandular extracts is one of the most wonderful that scientific research has offered the world. In fact, Dr. Goizit, of the Paris faculty, goes further in stating that gland treatment is a source of life more powerful in effect than the interchange of blood or any other remedy now in use to fight against age, illness and its sad results.
— Kalgoorlie Miner, Saturday 20 April 1935, 4.

Hand in hand with the progress of medical science we see an army of pseudo-scientific quacks who trade upon the imperfect knowledge of the masses, and by plausibly written advertisements convince many, even of the educated classes, that their particular method of treatment is based upon the latest scientific discoveries.
— George M. Sternberg, 'Science and Pseudo-Science in Medicine, Science, NS V (110), 199–206, 5 February, 1897. Paper Read before the Anthropological Society of Washington, December 15, 1896.

Wm RADAM’S MICROBE KILLER

Nearly all well-read people are familiar with the scientific investigations of Profs Koch and Pasteur, respectively of Germany and France, as well as a number of other scientists of almost equal renown, whose experiments have proven conclusively that all diseases are caused by microbes in the blood. They are called microbes, because they are a living matter, and only discovered by the aid of powerful microscopes. But until William Radam discovered his Microbe Killer Medicine there was absolutely nothing known in the annals of Medicine that would destroy these Microbes or Germs of Diseases existing in the blood. The Microbe Killer does Kill the Microbes in the blood without fail, as the thousands of testimonials we have in our possession demonstrate.

Microbes being the cause of all diseases, Microbe Killer will therefore cure them. WE EXCEPT NO DISEASES WHATEVER. Ladies and gentlemen desiring light upon the Microbe Theory, as well as upon any disease they may be afflicted with, are cordially invited to call and get pamphlets for full particulars. We will forfeit $1000 if any single one of our testimonials can be proven as not genuine. RADAM’S MICROBE KILLER CO. For sale by E.C. FLEMING, Druggist, No. South Detroit Street,
— The Daily Gazette, Xenia, Ohio, 16 November 1889, quoted at http://thequackdoctor.com/index.php/radams-microbe-killer/

When I drove to my seed store I knew that I could sit only on the edge of my buggy, because the microbes would not let me sit in any other way, and several minutes before I could move, the microbes that produced sciatica and rheumatism objecting to being disturbed, and so preventing me. Every attempt to move had to be slow and deliberate, until they should get accustomed to the change. I was a living barometer, Whenever the weather altered and especially if it became cooler, my collection of microbes could anticipate it two or three days, and when the storm came they would freeze and force me to take refuge by a red-hot stove to get them quieted…
— George M. Sternberg, 'Science and Pseudo-Science in Medicine, Science, N.S. V (110), 199–206, 5 February, 1897. Paper Read before the Anthropological Society of Washington, December 15, 1896.

FROM THE STEADY, firm, and regular beat of the heart, replacing interrupted and feeble action of that organ, demonstrated in a variety of cases, Fellows' Compound Syrup of Hypophosphites is known to exert a powerful tonic effect on the muscels [sic] of the heart.
— Bendigo Advertiser (Vic.), 26 May 1877, 3.

So long as the body is affected through the mind, no audacious device, even of the most manifestly dishonest character, can fail of producing occasional good to those who yield it an implicit or even partial faith.
— Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809–1894), 'Homeopathy and its kindred delusions' in Medical Essays.

It is not the case only with the poor and ignorant. The very brother of your bosom will be found joyously plunging into a medical debauch, with a peck or two of Morrison's pills; turning with disgust from the simple fare of blue pill and salts and senna of the regular practitioner. Your wife, flesh of your flesh, bone of your bone, will die in the belief that all would have been well if she had but one day sooner smeared herself over with unguent of the darling Holloway.
— The Argus (Melbourne), Saturday 3 February 1855, 4.

Ought we, then, to wonder that quackery is popular, and that it is better to own a patent medicine than a gold-mine?
— Daniel C. Gilman, 'Thoughts on Universities', Science, VIII, 9 July, 1886, 179.

UNPRINCIPLED QUACKS. — The great and good cause of medical reform will never attain to a respectable standing in public estimation and confidence, while so many pettifoggers are scattered over our country. I am frequently written to by steam doctors enquiring what their chance would be in Mobile. One wishes to know if it would not be a good plan for him to come here this fall, to spend a month or two in the sickly season; and he seems to have made his calculation very closely as to what he might clear in money, by the trip. I do not hesitate to express my disgust at his motives.
— Letter, C. W. Butt, Mobile, Alabama, 12/8/1840, Botanico-Medical Recorder, Volume 8, 1840, 407.

The third foe of rational medicine is the impersonal physician, namely, the nostrum, the patent medicine and the proprietary remedy.
— H. W. Wiley, 'The Physician of the Future', Science, 2 June 1905, XXI, 844.

Your outward requisites are a decent black suit, and, if your credit will stretch so far in Long-lane, a plush jacket; not a pin the worse, though threadbare as a taylor's cloke; it shews the more reverend antiquity. Secondly like Mercury, you must always carry a Caduceus or conjuring japan in your hand, capped with a civetbox: with which you must walk with Spanish gravity, as in their contemplation upon an arbitrament between life and death. Thirdly, a convenient lodging, not forgoing a hatch at the door; a chamber hung either with Dutch pictures or looking-glasses belittered with urinals or empty gally-pots, and phials filled with tap-droppings of fair water, coloured with Saunders. Any sexton will furnish your window with a skull, in hope of your custom; over which hang up the skeleton of a monkey to proclaim your skill in anatomy.
— 'Miso-Agyrtes' (pseud.) The quack's Academy, or the Dunce's Directory (1678), Reprinted in The Harleian Miscellany, volume VIII, 1810, 136–7.

The quack, on the first interview, takes care to soothe his victim, congratulating him that he has arrived just in time; had the application been a day later, heaven knows what had been the consequence, but now, by strict attention to the instructions given, and by swallowing the medicines regularly, the patient might hope, in time, to be in better health than ever.
— Anonymous, How To Live in London, 1828, 59.

CURE OF CANCER. — BELGIUM PROFESSOR CLAIMS SUCCESS. LONDON, November 26. A means of curing cancer is reported to have been discovered, this time in Belgium. Professor Laurent, of the Brussels University, states that he has cured fifty-seven cancer cases by his method of injecting concentrated formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is a colourless, volatile liquid, resembling acetic or ethyl aldehyde, and chemically intermediate between methyl alcohol and formic acid.
— The Mercury (Hobart), Saturday 28 November 1908, 5.

A conspiracy on rather an extensive scale was carried on against these fellows by some of the knowing ones of the metropolis. A patient, without complaint, but who stated he laboured under nervous debility, used to call on the different quacks, hear with attention all the advice given, and carry away the medicine, having paid the necessary fees; and continued his visits twice or three times, taking copious notes of all that passed at the interviews, and taking care of the medicine. A threat of exposure was then made, unless certain terms were complied with, and by this means a considerable sum was realised. The system is carried on to this hour.

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